It's an often encountered situation (especially for people who are early in the journey of recovery from addiction) where someone confronts us about a difficult truth. Our ingrained responses usually involve denial, anger, seeing ourselves as unfairly attacked, and immediately counter attacking. Learning to see these situations as opportunities for us to grow and benefit is hard work. We are swimming against the current of all that we have done before. We have most often come from situations where admitting we were wrong is simply not safe, or at least where we perceived it that way.
These are some suggestions on how best to personally grow from occasions like these:
1. Stay Calm: Maintain your composure and keep your emotions in check, even if the confrontation catches you off guard.
2. Listen Attentively: Give them your full attention and allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Show that you're engaged by making eye contact and nodding.
3. Acknowledge Their Feelings: Validate their emotions by acknowledging their perspective. You might respond with something like, "I understand this might be hard for you to bring up, and I appreciate your honesty in sharing your feelings with me."
4. Be Honest: Respond truthfully and openly about the situation. Avoid downplaying or hiding the truth, as it's essential to maintain trust and credibility in the conversation.
5. Express Empathy: Show empathy towards their feelings and concerns. Let them know that you understand why the truth might be challenging for them and that you're willing to work through it together.
6. Focus on Solutions: Shift the conversation towards finding solutions or ways to address the issue constructively. Collaborate with them to brainstorm potential resolutions and steps forward.
7. Maintain Respect: Keep a respectful tone and demeanor, even if you disagree with their perspective. Avoid becoming defensive or resorting to personal attacks.
8. Give Space for Processing: Understand that it might take them some time to process the truth and its implications. Offer them space if they need it and let them know that you're available to talk further when they're ready.
9. Follow Up: After the confrontation, check in with them periodically to see how they're doing and if they have any additional questions or concerns. Reiterate your commitment to addressing the issue together.
Remember, facing confrontation about difficult truths can be uncomfortable, but it's an opportunity for growth and understanding for both parties involved. The path to emotional maturity, responsibility, and accountability is not quick or easy. Figure on it taking a lifetime. Be assured, though - the rewards are worth it.
Thought Process in Early Recovery