Stories and myths serve a function beyond mere entertainment. They are mediums, rich with symbols, imagery and allegory, that can deepen our understanding of the vast potential inherent in the human condition.
When I checked myself into a rehab program for addiction and other mental health issues in February of 2022, I did not expect that I would be embarking on a spiritual journey. Nor did I expect to find a reflection of my struggles and a spiritual catalyst in J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic fantasy masterpiece, The Lord of The Rings. I had seen the movies many times, but watching them in the context of rehab I saw the story through a new lens: the lens of addiction and recovery.
The battle for Middle Earth and Frodo’s quest to destroy the One Ring can be seen as an allegory of the suffering addict. Frodo is symbolic of the addict, and the Ring he carries is symbolic of the burden of addiction. It is his burden to bear and his responsibility to destroy. But he cannot achieve his goal alone. He needed a Fellowship to guide and support him on his harrowing quest. The same is true for addicts. We carry within us the illness of addiction, a heavy burden we must all bear but are responsible for overcoming. Many of us, myself included, have tried to tackle the quest alone. We have failed. My short time in A.A. has opened my eyes to the power inherent in a Fellowship of people sharing a common goal. It is only through our connection to others that the spiritual potential inside us can be fully realized. We cannot bear the burden of the Ring of Addiction alone, nor hope to overcome its destructive force on our own terms. We must build a Fellowship for ourselves, and become a part of the Fellowship of others, if our quest of recovery is to succeed.
The creature Golem offers a stark warning to us addicts. He is symbolic of the addict unable to overcome the destructive power of the Ring of Addiction. It consumed and corrupted him unmercifully, destroyed his life and others, isolated him from the physical and spiritual worlds, and ultimately took his life. Many of us may know such unfortunates as Golem. Their substance, or substances, of choice become precious to them above all else. It consumes them. They come to believe they cannot survive without it. Too often they isolate themselves in the dark cave of despair, finding false hope and love in a mistress of misery.
The themes of redemption, hope, and spiritual awakening are also present throughout the story. In the first book Bilbo Baggins writes a poem about Aragorn that resonated with me while in rehab. It goes:
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
Before going to rehab my life was broken. I felt caught in an endless cycle of despair. I had no hope for the future. My self prescribed antidepressant was the bong and bottle. This calmed my nerves, but catalyzed my problems. I felt as though I was destroying myself. I’m grateful I came to the realization that I needed help - that my life was unmanageable - before my transformation into Golem was complete. I’ve come to learn that the forces of destruction and creation are intertwined. Rehab taught me that I had not destroyed my life, but what I needed to destroy was my old ego-centric self with its toxic habits and ways of thinking. A raging wildfire of the mind, body, and spirit were necessary, and from those ashes I could sow the seeds necessary to create the life of contentment and peace that I long desired. And like the broken shards of the sword Narsil, I could reforge my broken self in the furnace of recovery and fellowship. The light emerging from the shadows is symbolic of the spiritual awakening that is necessary for the recovering addict. Without it we are lost in an infinite darkness, never able to reclaim the symbolic crown that allows us to rule over the mighty kingdom within ourselves.
Zack W.